The problem is the house is not that my Big Bro is totally bad … actually, he is a nice guy. But the main problem is that, most of my siblings are 50 year old little kids. They didn’t bother to grow up. Yes, they grew up in age, marriage and kids … but they didn’t bother to grow up in problem solving and decision making.
The routine that my siblings used to follow was that … if there was any problem, they would either rush to Dad or to Big Bro … and they would dump a truck load of complaints. So, what my Big Bro had to do was … enter the scene, yell and scream at the alleged bad guy or even beat him up. This was the “problem solving” technique that my sisters used when they were little kids.
Just keep on complaining and complaining … fuel fire into my Big Bro … Big Bro was supposed to beat the crap out of the bad guy and everyone would live happily ever after. Lol. They have reached or crossed 50 years of age … but they are still following the same technique. Keep on complaining on and on and on … add as much fire as possible and hope for Big Bro to come out winning.
When they did this in school or in the neighborhood … it worked … to some extent. But now, they are involved in abusive activities … pushing my brother to get abusive … in matters related to property … pushing one brother against each other. They are adding as much fire as possible and as usual they want to sit back and watch the fireworks.
I know this very well … that’s why, with every action that I am taking against my Big Bro … I am thinking 10 times of how I can control the situation and make sure that there is no real damage for him. For example, they had fueled so much hate and anger in him that … he had become extremely aggressive and abusive. I tried to use religious texts … it didn’t work … I used legal references … it didn’t work … I tried to use relatives … it didn’t work. I was pushed to use the Police to contain his behavior.
I was myself in a shock that I am in such a stage … and I am evaluating of how I can protect my Big Bro from every adverse action in the next steps. So, I had to repeatedly tell the Officers that … there should be no FIR … there should be no arrest … I need only counseling to control the behavior. Thankfully, I was successful in containing the situation … and there are positive changes in the behavior.
Seize the Passport
Despite all of these moves, still he has not handed over my property papers and my legal counselors are telling me to initiate moves to “seize his Passport” as he may leave for Canada quite soon. If he goes again to Canada without handing over the papers then i will remain in the hanging for another few years.
But the major issue in this line of action is that … I don’t know if I will be able to control the next steps that would evolve.
- Seizing of the Passport cannot happen without an FIR
- If an FIR is filed then he can get arrested … he might end up in the lockup for a day or two
- If the Passport is seized then the Canadian Embassy will be informed as he is a Canadian citizen
- Which means that all of his activities of abuse, aggressive and violent behavior … holding property papers or whatever … everything will be informed to the Embassy
- If he says that … he doesn’t have my papers then it will turn into a legal case. Which means that, his Passport will be withheld for as long as the case will run.
- The press might get involved since he is a Canadian citizen involved in our city in actions of aggression, violence and property issues.
- Already there is an ongoing issue with the Canadian Government and the Indian Government. India is canceling visas for Canadians. This case will fit into the ongoing fight at the Embassy level.
- What if articles come in the newspaper about him with his photo … once the case goes to Court, everything is in the public domain. Everything can be printed and published online.
- What if my Bro files counter lawsuits? What if all of the information about my sister’s activities and his activities starts to get published online? How will this impact my sister’s jobs?
- Imagine the impact of all of the above activities on our relations. It will tear apart the family all together.
Its an easy to process to seize the passport … but since he is my brother … the next steps that will enfold in this process … I have no freaking idea of how I am going to control them.
Its very easy for my sisters and brother to complain and create fights. But they have no freaking idea of how things will enfold ahead. I am not like them and I like to keep things controlled and in their right proportion.
Its not easy to take action against my own brother … it hurts me to take action against him. Using Police Officers was a last resort after two years of negative behavior. But seizing the passport is a difficult move … this is the first time I am taking such moves. It becomes even more difficult when your brother is involved and you don’t know how to manage the interconnected moves.
This issue with my Bro is that … he doesn’t do any research to find out what is right or wrong. He goes with what everyone says. If one guy says something he will go with that … if two guys say the same thing, it will have more weight … if everyone says something then it will have the highest weight. Lol. Its not about what is right or wrong … or what should be done and what should not be done … he follows kind of a democratic system of views and votes. The majority in our family is pushing him for a conflict and he is going for a conflict.
This is the key reason that I am approaching other relatives … other family members … so that he can get views from other family units with a different thinking pattern … from a more learned decision making background. In our family, most siblings … (except for my younger brother since he was under my umbrella) … they just complain and fight. This route will destroy my brother’s life.
I have to snap him out of this track … of non-stop complaining and fighting … as no good wil come out of it. We have to use a more educated and learned approach. I tried to give them some content about “using intelligence” … they probably ignore it or read it for entertainment value. There is no actual positive change in terms of using intelligence.
However, I am pushing other people from other family units to talk to him … so that he can realize this “destructive pattern of complain and fight … complain and fight … complain and fight … among our siblings … especially with sisters”. Its not that my sisters are totally bad … they didn’t learn nor did they bother to. Let’s see how it goes.
