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My Barbarians

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Published: 11 March 2023

How can you sue your brother?
The question from a few groups is … how can you sue your brother? Aren’t you supposed to be family? Aren’t you supposed to protect, share and care for each other?

Overview of what my barbarians are
So, let me give you an overview of what my lovely barbarians are. You will get a much clearer picture of what I have to deal with.

Early Childhood
I was too small in first grade … to become a target of my brothers. They would be busy fighting with the kids in the neighborhood. Then we moved abroad.

Fighting with sisters
When we went abroad … there was no one to fight with. They had to channelize their trapped energy on someone or the other. Their immediate next target were my sisters.

But Dad stepped in and strictly forbade any kind of physical violence against women. I have never seen my Dad raise his hand on my sisters or any woman in my life. Dad took my sisters in his protective shell and drew the red line for my barbarians.

Fighting with each other
They would very liberally fight with each other … like cats and dogs … every now and then. And then the next day, they would be as if nothing happened.

Fighting with kids in school
When the opportunity came, they would very liberally beat up kids in school.

Proving yourself right
My barbarians don’t have a logical mindset. Their thinking pattern is mostly based on what they need and their ego. This is how they conduct themselves when things don’t go their way. First they will start staring … showing their anger … then they start yelling … and even then, if things don’t work out for them … they will start beating the other person.

So, if you don’t want to get beat up … then it is better to agree with them and let them do things their way and allow them to take what they want … for your own safety that is. These are my lovely barbarians.

Beating me up
I started growing … year by year … and when I was in my 3^rd or 4^th grade … I came under their radar. I can’t say that they started fighting with me … as I never raised my hand on them … they would just beat me up. It would be every now and then … a week or two wouldn’t pass without an incident.

Over-ruled Dad
What did Dad do? Why didn’t he control them?
Well, they played a hierarchy card … sisters were untouchable … they claimed the right to discipline the younger ones … the younger ones should respect them, apparently.

Dad gave in … he allowed … he would never be at home to actually see what they do. This phase went on for 4-5 years until my barbarians left for India for further studies.

Back to India
After 9 years abroad, I return to India. I see that the physical altercations reduced to a good extent. But they dumped all of the house work on me. Go get vegetables … go get meat … go get milk … go buy groceries … go buy cooking oil … (no you don’t get them all in the same store … we had small shops for everything) … fill up the drinking water for the house … pay the electricity bill … pay the water bill … attend court hearing for Dad’s shop … arrange for staff for housework … go to karate classes … go to Quran classes … go to school … go for tuitions and manage all functions and marriages.

This routine went on for 6 years … till I went to Germany. One of my brother was studying in another city and the other brother went to his friends at a hostel so that he could “concentrate” on his studies.

Yeah, now you understand … why the first thing that God did was … take me out of my family? It was so that … I could focus on the main work that I was created for.

Burst my ear drum
Once my big barbarian was giving my younger brother “how to study” lessons … to prepare him for his med exams. He is giving him a routine of how to study for 14 hours per day. It turns into an argument … as usual the yelling begins and he starts slapping my younger bro. I intervene to stop these aggressive behaviors and they beat me up in response … in such a way that my left ear drum bursts open. Took meds for several weeks to heal the holes created in my ear drum.

Even today, if I blow my nose too hard … it feels as if my left ear drum will burst open again.

Gets married
Dad is abroad … I need a guardian for my Engineering admission. He gives me a hard time just to come to the admissions office to talk in the college. Later I asked him … “Wouldn’t Dad come along with me without any hesitation? Dad wasn’t here … why did you give me such a hard time?”

He says … “Whatever Dad did for me … I will do for my son. Why should I do anything for you?”

I understood his viewpoint and what he wanted. I agreed never to take his help … unless and until it was extremely necessary.

I go abroad … I go on my sister’s visa and not his visa … I stay at my sister’s place and not his place. I go to Germany and America … I make my own income and not depend on him. My parents moved into his house in India and lived there for 10 years … I only visit my parents and didn’t stay a single night at his place.

Uses his wife as a barking dog
After he got married … he uses his wife as a barking dog against our family. He wanted to get rid of all of us so that he doesn’t have to bear any of our expenses. He tried to use a dual policy … he was being nice to us so that we don’t think that he is the bad guy … but was using his wife to shove us away.

Will call the police
The only thing that stopped and controlled their physical violence against me was that … I threatened to call the police if they laid a finger on me again. Mom and Dad couldn’t manage them … I had to pull outside support to control them. The possibility of getting locked up … automatically controlled them.

Their approach is … become into their worst barbarian version … to get what they want. But they cannot become a barbarian in the police station … thus their tactic would fail … and it controlled them.

Thinking brother?
When you guys think “brother” you think sharing, caring, protecting each other, helping each other and fighting for each other. But that is not the case with my barbarians … not once I can remember any of my big brother sitting with me … teaching me something, helping with some school work, teaching me how to play some games or sports … except of a couple of weeks of teaching me Quran in my entire lifetime … other than that … it has always been about them … what they want, what they need and abusing me and suppressing me.

I did not grow up with two big brothers … but I grew up with two barbarians. If their mood is good … then everything is good … the moment you hold an opinion that is different from their’s … then complete barbarians.

Why did God do this?
I would often ask myself … why did God do this to me? Why did God make me go through this … if God loves you then why would he put an innocent child under the abuse of two barbarians for several years? I didn’t understand it … until …

Matrix Training
Guess what happens … once I escape from home … I get picked up by the Matrix. They unleash a new level of hell … tweaked food products, pain in the body and emf fields so strong as if you are living in a microwave for years and years and years together.

SM and I … we didn’t hit it off in the first meeting. They were like … “we love you … join us and we will make you great.” I refused and they tried to show me their abusive side. I said … “screw you … get the hell out of my life”. I spend an entire childhood in abuse … and these assholes show up threatening me with more abuse. I didn’t want new bullshit channelized from a new source.

Altering the Matrix … separating SM elements from Establishment elements took about 10 years. I was living in a microwave during this phase. I had so much anger piled up in me at that time that … if I would die … I would wake up on Judgment Day … roll up my sleeves … and look for the God that created me. And I would ask him … “Why did you create me? Did you create me only to be abused? Where were you when I was being abused??”

I was pissed off at God. If I had unleashed my anger onto a mountain then that mountain would burn into ashes.

Its then that I get the Lioness dream … God asks me to “work with SM in changing the world … that they would be like a Lioness by my side.” At first, I was infuriated at that suggestion … these assholes are abusing me since a decade and God is asking me to work with them. Heh … I was like … lol … couldn’t believe it.

However, I gave it a shot … since it’s the Big Guy’s request and since it would bring changes across the world … it was worth a shot. And one thing leads to the next … we are raising millions of people, overthrowing governments, controlling Presidential elections and deciding who will be the President of the United States.

Training for the Matrix phase
Its then that I realized … this abusive childhood that I faced … it was designed to give me patience and tolerance. I was developing my system analysis skills and also being trained with repeated abuse … both of these skills helped me during the Matrix phase.

Establishment elements would be abusing me … SM elements would be trying to protect me and work on changes in the world … until I showed SM how to overcome the Establishment.

Let’s assume, if I had a normal family with brothers who cared, shared and protected me … then the abuse in the Matrix would be shockers for me. I have seen and met hundreds of people who simply gave in and became a puppet in the Matrix system.

A lot of shit in the family
From the outside if you look … there is a lot of shit that goes on in my family. But each level of shit had its own purpose for training me for this project. It kind of shows how important this project is for the world that God is training me for it since my childhood.

SM elements used to be puzzled … “how can you be so patient? How can you help us after what just happened … after what they have been doing to you since so many years?” They had no idea that I was trained for this shit since childhood.

I forgive a lot
I understood God’s plan … so, I forgave all of the shit they did in my childhood. Okay fine, go with your wife … your life is your life … I don’t need anything from you. Never took his help … never spent a night at his home … detached myself completely from him.

Abuse towards parents is not acceptable
When it came to training me for the project … then I forgave … but parents being abused is not acceptable. Taking all of my father’s savings … duping him … not giving him a single penny back until he died … and not giving him anything for expenses … is not acceptable.

Abusing my mother … keen on looting her properties like a hungry dog … it is not acceptable. I am watching this guy … giving my mother infections and then refusing medications to her when she becomes very ill … and I am praying to God … “God, show me a way to punish this asshole”.

He dupes weak people … takes everything that they have and then becomes a barbarian when asked to give back. His wife couldn’t fight with him … as she would get a divorce. Dad couldn’t fight him … coz he was asked to leave his house. Mom is too sensitive and weak to stand up to him as well.

And guess what he does … he does a wonderful thing of holding my property papers with him since two years … refuses to give back my property papers and becomes a complete barbarian. He thinks that I have no friends and no one to help me. He even tried to sell off my property but couldn’t because selling and transfers of properties are too strict and controlled in India nowadays.

And I am like … thank you God … for showing me a way of how to punish this guy. I will sue him … not for just myself … but for my Dad and Mom as well.